Marriage -be it arrange or love.

The most common question a 26-year-old faces is when are you getting married ? Arent your parent’s looking for a groom ? Are you seeing someone ? So on and so forth …. At times I give an excuse and at times I offer the truth.

What is the rush of getting married ? O wait my biological clock is ticking , I am not getting any younger by the day and majorly the choice of groom available for me are those so-called leftovers. Are you serious about these statements ? If this is the environment I am living in then, I rather be an outcast. As an individual you have a choice , if you are financially independent,confident and educated ; then you can achieve anything you want. don’t get bullied by the so-called society norms.

If you are getting married then you are putting your life on hold! NO, that’s not what I am stating , if you found the right guy or girl , then go for it. However if you are unsure about the future , then yes waiting is the better option than regretting the mistake. You have to understand that it is not just your life that you are ruining , there are other lives involved too. In last 4 years 6 of my friends got married and 5 of them filled for divorce, some of the reasons for divorce are beyond my imagination. I remember my meetings with these friends and their family during the trials the expression on their face , the disappointment in their eyes was clear ( it sent shivers down my spine & I couldn’t stop crying) and at times it took a toll on their health too. What I am trying to tell you is take your time in making this decision, it’s important one as it not only involves you and your family but also others and their emotions.

I am not ready for marriage and I know that very well , pressure from society or parents & friends will not change my decision till I feel I am ready . If you think you are ready for the responsibility then go for it , but if you are not – hold your horses. Making mistakes is not wrong either, I also acknowledge that there is always a possibility that things might not work out in future. There are people who gotten divorces less than few months into marriage , even though they courted each other for several years before marriage. Life offers a variety of unfortunate events and lessons , learn from them . What I am trying to tell you is be wise while making your decision , weigh both the pro’s and con’s . It’s a very simple question and yet powerful – are you ready ?.Understand yourself and acknowledge your needs, then select the right option.

Sometimes waiting makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t.I just don’t wanna be a reason of pain for others.hence I chose to wait and watch.

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Accept and Move on .

The process of acceptance is different for every person, sometimes it is a smooth sailing and at majority of times it is like kick starting a Luna bike. The journey is never too easy for the one who has to endure the change. We tend to cling on to the good old days memories, which is nothing but selective memory.

While writing this post , I had to keep stating myself that this is not a self-help blog but about a common journey as a human being we keep enduring . Ok back to the topic ! I am not the only one who had to go through enormous changes in life , everyone in the world does.

I know someone who is going through a huge life “adjustment “( that’s what they like to call it ) , when I get to talk to them , they constantly bicker about the fact that THEY are gonna accept the change with no qualms & move on with their lives, after they have portrayed a martyr’s role( I on the other hand will be swallowing an aspirin ).

“Oh my god , so much of melodrama is not required in life , please become a script writer or an actor if you need so much attention”. On several occasion I had the liberty of expressing this view-point and yeah it did not go well at all . My point was simple I stated , it is your choice at the end of the day to accept and move on or take an action to change the outcome , neither of them is a feasible option . They just want whine and I really want strong painkillers.

I have faith in them that they are capable of changing their attitude towards these hurdles , however all I can do now is hope that they accept and move on SOON.

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Passion, interest….

Off lately I was pondering on what is it i am passionate about ? To begin with; I am a sort of person who quickly loses interest or does not have the stamina to continue or simply too lazy to do it or follow it through.

As everyone around me started to find new interest and pursuing it , I on the other hand was nagging about my life all the time and was not contributing anything nor making an effort to improve. I had finally put my foot down in early march and decided to take up a course , hence now I am doing my masters in journalism and mass communication , which i must say has improved my knowledge also given me a chance to know a little bit more about myself.

Since the course started I have made some dramatic changes in my life , firstly I am following fitness regime and have lost 6kgs ( 😁) need to lose about 10 more 😉 , I am doing a little bit of arts and crafts , gardening ,photography and make -up arts , I am not a professional photographer nor make up artist because I don’t find it that interesting ,however I am avid Instagramer !! 😁😁 . So these are the changes that I have made in myself .

Coming back to passion , I have to say it is gardening , it is not only relaxing but also gives me that boost of confidence when I see these plants that I have planted grown into magnificent creatures, it’s like the only thing that keeps me sane and these plants makes me feel as if they have confidence in me that I won’t let them down. I am able to fight my inner turmoil with help of these tiny yet strong creatures. They acted like my support system when everyone around me failed to support me during my darkest hour.

All I am saying is don’t lose hope, let yourself go to find yourself again

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Unsettling thoughts…

That vague feeling about something is missing or the unsettling rampage of emotions that constantly surround you; are few ways of describing one’s state of mind .

Everyone experience these emotions in their lifetime; just at different phases in life, the fundamental point is to make sure that you surround yourself with the loved one’s and well wishers. At this stage it is very easy to become rigid , depressed and orthodox . Being distant to everyone won’t help nor becoming an addict.

All you need to do is focus on something you like example it could be painting , photography, writing etc. this little habits keep you sane and doesn’t allow the negative thoughts. The simplest trick is to stay busy, and eventually time will unfold the mystery about that vague feeling.

I had been in this spot several times in my life , what kept me going was a simple promise I made to myself. ” I promised myself to grow old” , it’s a simple statement yet powerful and I had cultivated the habit of reading hence I can boastfully say I am voracious reader now ,thus keeping myself preoccupied. I have learnt you live up-to my expectation not others nor I wish too ever.

All I am going to say is “keep calm and carry on “…

Doing things a bit differently

According to the free dictionary.com -“different”means – Unlike in form, quality, amount, or nature; dissimilar: took different approaches to the problem.

Well you see instead of using Oxford dictionary I used the google search bar to retrieve my information. You can state that i am lazy, not putting enough effort to get the right information but let me ask you this ” wasn’t the job complete ? Wasn’t it simple ? The meaning doesn’t differ nor does it affect anything?”.

Are you a street smart or a geek , what difference does it make ? getting the job done should only be the concern. Performing a simple task or thinking a bit out of the box makes you who you are , it is a part of your personality . Our learning capacity is different, so is our way of expressing one’s emotion. I hate the way the society compare each of us according to our grades, religion, caste, creed , sexual preferences,and colour of my skin. Stop allowing them to judge you , remember you create society , society doesn’t create you .

So when you do things a bit differently it is okay …. Don’t be scared , because people either want to be just like you or detest you.

Life will teach you several little things about you , just give it some time .

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